Here are our team and our host families in Belgium. The leadership teams of all three churches we ministered at in Europe invited us to eat with them. It was obvious this was part of their community culture.
Europe
We just got back from 12 days in Europe. It was a survey trip: we’re asking how God might be stirring up a church planting movement in Portugal. Along the way, we spent a weekend with two Vineyard churches in Belgium.
It was a full weekend. Saturday morning, Milton and Luciana, the directors of Vineyard Brazil, taught at a marriage conference while the rest of us supported them. Saturday afternoon, Deanna and I taught part of a three-hour workshop for Third Culture Kids. Miguel and Carlinhos encouraged the youth and worship teams. On Sunday, Milton spoke at three services in two different cities. And in between came meals around tables with church leaders.
Here’s what struck me. Following Jesus is just as satisfying in Europe as it is in Brazil. And as it is in Canada. When everything is going well, what could be better than walking with God daily and being part of a healthy faith community?
But what about when it isn’t going well? When church feels like too much hassle, or faith feels like losing?
The Table and the Tabernacle
In Portugal, someone gave me a phrase I haven’t been able to shake: church planting needs to balance the table and the tabernacle. Eating together in community, and gathering to worship in God’s presence. I saw both working beautifully in a couple of places.
One Percent
The leaders in Belgium told me that only about 1% of people in Belgium identify as evangelical Christians. Belgium is full of solid, beautifully built stone churches and cathedrals, and my friends say they’re mostly empty.
But as you can see from this photo, some people there love church.
The Vineyard church in Belgium is thriving. They fill this room twice every Sunday morning. When parents check their children into Sunday School, they write each child’s name on a name tag along with the languages the child speaks. Sunday School runs in English, Flemish, and French, though German, Portuguese, and Spanish are common too.
The Power-Over Paradox
The old cathedrals are majestic museums. Many still hold services, and many are for sale to be repurposed. I imagine they were built with good intentions. But somebody had to pay for them, or somehow get a lot of people working together on one great project. I wonder how much of that was done with power over people.
At the end of the day, their leaders got the job done and built beautiful churches. But when people have a choice, will they keep coming?
I get the sense that people everywhere are tired of strong top-down leadership. But they still embrace community life, where everybody gets to play and the gifts are spread through the whole congregation.
So I came home with a question. How do you lead in a place where faithfulness doesn’t look like winning?
That question took me straight into Psalm 44.
Psalm 44: A Song for What Feels Like Losing
Psalm 44 is a song God’s people sang together after things went badly wrong. It opens by remembering the glory days, when God fought for their ancestors:
For by their own sword they did not possess the land, And their own arm did not save them, But Your right hand and Your arm and the light of Your presence, For You favored them. (Psalm 44:3)
Even then, the victory never came by their sword. Then the floor drops out:
Yet You have rejected us and brought us to dishonor, And do not go out with our armies. (v. 9)
They don’t confess some hidden sin. They protest that they’ve stayed loyal:
All this has come upon us, but we have not forgotten You, And we have not dealt falsely with Your covenant. (v. 17)
They’re not claiming to be perfect. They’re saying they never walked away.
Most of us absorbed the idea, without anyone saying it out loud, that if we do things right, things go right. Psalm 44 says: not always. Their suffering didn’t come in spite of their loyalty. It came because of it:
But for Your sake we are killed all day long; We are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. (v. 22)
Sometimes we pay a price precisely because we stayed faithful.
The song ends with them shouting at God:
Wake Yourself up, why do You sleep, Lord? Awake, do not reject us forever. … Rise up, be our help, And redeem us because of Your mercy. (vv. 23, 26)
And it stops there. No resolution. But in Hebrew, the psalm’s very last word is hesed. Our Bible translates it “mercy.” It means God’s loyal, covenant love, the love that won’t let go. After all their whys, that’s where they land.
Psalm 44: A Song for What Feels Like Losing
Psalm 44 is a song God’s people sang together after things went badly wrong. It opens by remembering the glory days, when God fought for their ancestors:
For by their own sword they did not possess the land, And their own arm did not save them, But Your right hand and Your arm and the light of Your presence, For You favored them. (Psalm 44:3)
Even then, the victory never came by their sword. Then the floor drops out:
Yet You have rejected us and brought us to dishonor, And do not go out with our armies. (v. 9)
They don’t confess some hidden sin. They protest that they’ve stayed loyal:
All this has come upon us, but we have not forgotten You, And we have not dealt falsely with Your covenant. (v. 17)
They’re not claiming to be perfect. They’re saying they never walked away.
Most of us absorbed the idea, without anyone saying it out loud, that if we do things right, things go right. Psalm 44 says: not always. Their suffering didn’t come in spite of their loyalty. It came because of it:
But for Your sake we are killed all day long; We are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. (v. 22)
Sometimes we pay a price precisely because we stayed faithful.
The song ends with them shouting at God:
Wake Yourself up, why do You sleep, Lord? Awake, do not reject us forever. … Rise up, be our help, And redeem us because of Your mercy. (vv. 23, 26)
And it stops there. No resolution. But in Hebrew, the psalm’s very last word is hesed. Our Bible translates it “mercy.” It means God’s loyal, covenant love, the love that won’t let go. After all their whys, that’s where they land.
Paul Picks up the Song
Centuries later, the apostle Paul quotes Psalm 44:22.
“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or trouble, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? Just as it is written: ‘For Your sake we are killed all day long; we were regarded as sheep to be slaughtered’ ” (Romans 8:35-36).
Paul doesn’t treat Psalm 44 as a strange exception. He treats it as normal Christian life. Faithful people sometimes feel crushed and unfairly treated. That is not proof that God has left.
Think about a song you’ve heard over and over since you were a child. One line brings back the whole thing. When Paul quoted one line of Psalm 44, readers who knew the psalms well heard the whole song, right down to its closing cry: rise up and redeem us.
And Paul’s words answer the psalm’s request. The singers cried, “Rise up!” Just two verses earlier, Paul tells us how God answered, in a way they never imagined. He raised Jesus:
“Christ Jesus is He who died, but rather, was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.” (Romans 8:34)
The psalm’s question gets its answer. Nothing in all creation can separate us from that love. After all our whys, that’s where we land.
Two Ways to Lead
Jesus’ disciples faced the same choice: sword or servant. In Matthew 20, the mother of James and John kneels before Jesus with a request:
“Say that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine shall sit, one at Your right, and one at Your left.” (Matthew 20:21)
She’s asking about leadership in eternity. Jesus answers:
“You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said to Him, “We are able.” (v. 22)
I clearly remember having a serious talk with God about this exact idea in Eagle Plains, in the Yukon, in the 1980s. I was the only one who identified as a Christian in an intense, remote, northern community. I said, “I don’t know what I’m agreeing to either. But I’m in. I’m sure you can see me through whatever you’re talking about, and I want to drink that cup too, whatever that means.” Forty years later I’m still learning what it means, and I’m still all in, all the way in.
“I don’t know what I’m agreeing to either. But I’m in.”
When the other ten become indignant, Jesus clarifies His call:
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them, and those in high position exercise authority over them. It is not this way among you, but whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant, and whoever desires to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (vv. 25–28)
Why We Reach for the Sword
Bowen Family Systems Theory gave me language for something profound: when people sense change, they get anxious, and anxious people react. Sincere people with power start to believe the end justifies the means.
I’ve seen this in church circles. Good people, with the best intentions, overpowering people on their own teams. Think about people you know who’ve been hurt by a church. Often, somewhere along the way, they felt power was abused.
There are times when power over is exactly right. A very young child can’t weigh every option. If there’s a car accident and traffic is still coming, somebody needs to take charge, and everybody else needs to listen without debating. But in normal, everyday church life and family life, I have never seen power-over leadership produce an optimal long-term result.
Training for Eternity
So what do we do when we serve the Jesus way and get overpowered, sometimes precisely because we served the Jesus way? Jesus says: keep serving. Keep loving them. We love God by loving them.
It might feel overwhelming. It might feel unfair. Psalm 44 says so out loud, and God put that complaint in our Bible. But from the psalmists, from Job, from Jesus in the desert and in the garden, and from Paul, we learn that God is very near. God has our best interest in mind.
“We are able,” James and John said. They meant it. Years later, James became the first of the twelve to die for following Jesus. Acts tells it in one plain sentence about King Herod:
“And he had James the brother of John executed with a sword.” (Acts 12:2)
The sword again. The one Psalm 44 refused to trust. The one Paul said could never separate us from the love of Christ.
By every measure his world used, James lost. By Jesus’ measure, he was being trained for a throne. Paul puts it this way:
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)
Every time we choose to serve when we could overpower, we’re being trained for leadership in eternity.
The cathedrals in Belgium will outlast us. But I sat at tables in Belgium with people building something that will outlast the cathedrals.
For This Week
Are you feeling discouraged in your faith because things aren’t working out the way you expected? Maybe it’s time to bring your expectations to God.
Paul’s message is simple: it’s normal, even the feelings of loss. From our short-term view, this is how faith matures. God has a long-term goal far better than we can imagine, and this is how he trains us.
Meditate: Read Psalm 44 and Romans 8 side by side. Sit with Psalm 44:22. Notice Paul’s joy in the middle of hard circumstances.
Set a table: Invite someone to eat with you. The table and the tabernacle both start small.
Third Culture Kids
Deanna shared some of her experiences and wisdom about raising children who always feel like strangers.
Include your children in your ministry
Don’t habitually set your children aside as you talk to adults
Prioritize having fun as a family
Be extra careful about who you trust with your children
Form a family culture “this is how we do things around here” and discuss options with your children
A date night: A powerful gift to your children is to love their other parent.
Etc.
Belgium
I’m playing chess with the pastor’s three-year-old. Their brilliant seven-year-old is giving me tips so I don’t lose. We played in Portuguese, though they also speak Flemish and Spanish and switch automatically depending on who’s in the room.
Here’s a typical eating place in a residential neighbourhood near our hosts’ house. The sign says “Restaurant” and “Feestzaal”: a restaurant with a hall you can rent for weddings and family celebrations. Feestzaal literally means “feast hall.” Say it out loud ten times and you’re learning Flemish. Who wouldn’t want to help a country with feast halls in its neighbourhoods?
Possibilities
Jesus thought the way to change the whole world was to move somewhere: to a normal, grassroots neighbourhood, and to start with those people. John puts it this way:
“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us” (John 1:14).
The word John uses for “dwelt” literally means pitched his tent. Jesus tabernacled among us. Before there was ever a cathedral, there was God in a tent, in a neighbourhood, eating at people’s tables.
Missionary work is like that. We are always strangers. It’s critical that locals take ownership of the ideas as soon as possible, because missionaries, like Jesus himself, will one day go away, and the locals will remain.
What if God is preparing ten or more couples to move to Portugal, to learn the culture, to be good news, to settle into normal neighbourhoods and start faith communities people actually like going to? What if they went with a ten-year vision, stepping back as local leaders step up, lighting fires that grow organically and intentionally throughout Europe?
You might think, “We need to reach our own countries.” I agree. In a scarcity worldview, giving more means having less. But in God’s economy of abundance…?
Maybe God is talking to you.
Or to someone you know.
If someone comes to mind, forward this to them.
A Prayer
Lord,
Sometimes we serve you and it feels like losing.
Thank you for giving us words for that in Psalm 44, and for hearing us when we pray them.
When we’re tempted to grab for control, teach us the way of Jesus, who came not to be served but to serve.
Keep us loyal when it costs us.
Bless the faithful churches in Portugal and Belgium.
Raise up young couples who will build communities of faith around the table and the tabernacle.
And when we can’t see you, hold us in your steadfast love, the love nothing can separate us from.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Thoughts? Please hit reply.
With gratitude, Rick and Deanna
<!–
–>
Scripture quotations are from the NASB 2020 unless otherwise noted.
